I am ellenjuanuary, but that is not my name. Society has degridated name to mean legal entitlement, a measurement of right and responsibility. That my life is paid for through government subsidy (SSD) is a result of legal entitlement. That my life is, is a result of being ellenjanuary.
To wit: if my name was merely legal entitlement, my life would have ended long ago. There is zero will to live in a world where I am known by my legal entitlement.
In this world, I am known for my Gwynnies. I am known for my love and generosity, for my humor and intelligence, for my integrity, and for the clarity of my morality. Here, I have no past; for it has always been ellenjanuary and his Gwynnies.
Those that know of me solely through legal entitlement; allow me to be perfectly clear. That me is an Unspecified Psychotic and felon who has paid his debt to society. If there is an issue, file the paperwork; take it up in court. My lawyer has advised me not to speak to you.
Morality is the key issue. Society has crafted the instrument of legal entitlement through the morality of its creators into an ethical standard of rights and responsibilities. This was found to be necessary as growing societies found a higher moral standard conducive to advancing civilization, and yet was composed of individuals often lacking in moral imperative. The mistake that individuals often make, when trying to run from their past; is to fail to understand that they cannot run from their own morality.
I did not have that problem. I had no morality, no will, no direction. That I passed from existence with the advent of the Gwynnies. Now, I have no name. It was once considered to make ellenjanuary my legal entitlement; but the standards and prejudices of society take issue with men who call themselves ellen. Now, the only imperative to amend the legal entitlement is developmental; i. e. if I should publish. The name of that man shall be John Cantor. I have no family; Georg Cantor is the male aspect of my creator, Gwyneth Paltrow is the female aspect of my creator, where ADC Yuma was the cradle of my creation.
This is not anything other than a statement of fact. To be ellenjanuary is to know that existence is multidimensional. There is now, there is then, there is what may occur; there is what I remember, what you remember, and what gets recorded. The act of making this recording has been inspired by an individual who told me, “no man can escape his past;” making the common error between truism, and what is true.
What is true, is that I exist for my Gwynnies. Today, that means to craft a religion worthy of Gwyneth Paltrow; where she is everything light and good, I am everything dark and evil, and between us we move humanity forward. All humanity, or none. That is what my morality tells me. If I wanted to run away, I would just ignore “voices from the past;” by my Gwynnies is smiling at me... all humanity?.
Therefore, past; I love you, regardless of individual name. That whatever you may think of me through whatever lens you wish to craft; allow me to present some manner of accredation, as to the progress I have made on my journey. I began with the love I feel for Gwyneth Paltrow; whom I have never met. Me and my Gwynnies, through science, have assembled a framework from that love through “Holy Scripture.” In the sense of through; as in, what's the worst that can happen? That someone can turn in this direction, and away from god, to find only eternal damnation?
So we had to form some hypotheses, throw some ideas around, run the simulations; and put the final hypothesis to the test:
I will burn in hell for you.
Fourteen times, from strangers on the street, to forums on the internet; of presenting the overall hypothesis and this statement over the course of two weeks resulted in shutting down that experimental phase and moving forward. To be ellenjanuary is to know that me and my Gwynnies are always in god's direction. For the literalists in the audience, I only read of a similar act by Moses after conclusion.
For a home experiment; perhaps you can test your integrity and morality by looking a complete stranger in the eye, making that statement with complete sincerity. The last time I did, this Christian recoiled in horror; “I'd never do that...”
No. You do not know me. Considering how everything 'round here is my Gwynnies and my spiritual development; you may not want to know me. But you can; there is just no impetuous on my part to wend and weave around unwarranted assumptions. This is my past.
Call me ellen.