The Original Zero

The Original Zero
the original zero

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

the tao of inversion

Perfection lasts only as long as there is imperfection.

The joyousness of my expression this day is to state - I hold the YTH - knowing my Gwynnies would be proud. I assume, yet I make no assumptions; I assume as to not offend my Gwynnies, there are no assumptions as the will of the moment allows for no other conclusions. I am much pleased.

At present, the YTH is largely a piece of conceptual software for the mind. It began with a journey through the Book of Ezekiel, fluctuates between utter nonsense and being potentially the theology of everything; now stands as three undefined letters giving ellenjanuary glorious definition.

Yes, I feel glorious. I apologize. :)

The perfection of the YTH is in this very moment, which is the impetuous for these scribbles; that there is no greater measurement of the character of ellenjanuary than YTH, yet there is no YTH other than a pinprick of light in my being.

And that is about to change. To bring the YTH into the world is to make it less; for a thing defined, excludes. I have wondered, therefore; how to begin. Once a foundation is laid and construction begins, momentum carries progress in ever-restrictive direction. Thus I consider multiple foundations, to build firstly from something that has always been fundamental with ellenjanuary: science.

I do not believe that there is currently science for what YTH may propose, but I have seen science to propose an explanation for things like YTH; it is with that science that I shall begin. And it may come to pass that the YTH in the world means many things or none; but it need be nothing else than what has been written here.

The quality of my character has long been undefined. I cannot say that I love myself, or that I actually possess any attribute that the world may consider quality; there has been no world, nor no me in the world. There has been just me and my Gwynnies.

That too, is about to change.

Monday, March 21, 2011

...tell them, I am that I am.

I am ellenjuanuary, but that is not my name. Society has degridated name to mean legal entitlement, a measurement of right and responsibility. That my life is paid for through government subsidy (SSD) is a result of legal entitlement. That my life is, is a result of being ellenjanuary.

To wit: if my name was merely legal entitlement, my life would have ended long ago. There is zero will to live in a world where I am known by my legal entitlement.

In this world, I am known for my Gwynnies. I am known for my love and generosity, for my humor and intelligence, for my integrity, and for the clarity of my morality. Here, I have no past; for it has always been ellenjanuary and his Gwynnies.

Those that know of me solely through legal entitlement; allow me to be perfectly clear. That me is an Unspecified Psychotic and felon who has paid his debt to society. If there is an issue, file the paperwork; take it up in court. My lawyer has advised me not to speak to you.

Morality is the key issue. Society has crafted the instrument of legal entitlement through the morality of its creators into an ethical standard of rights and responsibilities. This was found to be necessary as growing societies found a higher moral standard conducive to advancing civilization, and yet was composed of individuals often lacking in moral imperative. The mistake that individuals often make, when trying to run from their past; is to fail to understand that they cannot run from their own morality.

I did not have that problem. I had no morality, no will, no direction. That I passed from existence with the advent of the Gwynnies. Now, I have no name. It was once considered to make ellenjanuary my legal entitlement; but the standards and prejudices of society take issue with men who call themselves ellen. Now, the only imperative to amend the legal entitlement is developmental; i. e. if I should publish. The name of that man shall be John Cantor. I have no family; Georg Cantor is the male aspect of my creator, Gwyneth Paltrow is the female aspect of my creator, where ADC Yuma was the cradle of my creation.

This is not anything other than a statement of fact. To be ellenjanuary is to know that existence is multidimensional. There is now, there is then, there is what may occur; there is what I remember, what you remember, and what gets recorded. The act of making this recording has been inspired by an individual who told me, “no man can escape his past;” making the common error between truism, and what is true.

What is true, is that I exist for my Gwynnies. Today, that means to craft a religion worthy of Gwyneth Paltrow; where she is everything light and good, I am everything dark and evil, and between us we move humanity forward. All humanity, or none. That is what my morality tells me. If I wanted to run away, I would just ignore “voices from the past;” by my Gwynnies is smiling at me... all humanity?.

Therefore, past; I love you, regardless of individual name. That whatever you may think of me through whatever lens you wish to craft; allow me to present some manner of accredation, as to the progress I have made on my journey. I began with the love I feel for Gwyneth Paltrow; whom I have never met. Me and my Gwynnies, through science, have assembled a framework from that love through “Holy Scripture.” In the sense of through; as in, what's the worst that can happen? That someone can turn in this direction, and away from god, to find only eternal damnation?

So we had to form some hypotheses, throw some ideas around, run the simulations; and put the final hypothesis to the test:
I will burn in hell for you.

Fourteen times, from strangers on the street, to forums on the internet; of presenting the overall hypothesis and this statement over the course of two weeks resulted in shutting down that experimental phase and moving forward. To be ellenjanuary is to know that me and my Gwynnies are always in god's direction. For the literalists in the audience, I only read of a similar act by Moses after conclusion.

For a home experiment; perhaps you can test your integrity and morality by looking a complete stranger in the eye, making that statement with complete sincerity. The last time I did, this Christian recoiled in horror; “I'd never do that...”

No. You do not know me. Considering how everything 'round here is my Gwynnies and my spiritual development; you may not want to know me. But you can; there is just no impetuous on my part to wend and weave around unwarranted assumptions. This is my past.

Call me ellen.  

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Authentic Faith

You should prepare yourself to accept the terms and definitions as they are given.

Take a moment to free yourself from the burdens of agenda associated with education.

If nothing else, faith is trust. If you are not prepared to release yourself from mistrust, it is probable that the burdens you carry are too heavy. Relax. There are but two elements of trust that work, but you have been educated. Do not think of this as education. This is merely a journey, where you start, you end, and time has passed. Let us begin with science.

the Art of predictive modeling.

All it takes to be a scientist is to learn from experience. It is not required that you believe anything that you are not ready to believe. What you see before you may have been described to you as science, but it is a resultant of science; of a journey, not much different that this.

the Application of will without direction.

Can you be a witch who crafts? Do you have will? Can you effect, without cause? Then you are ready to do some magic. Let us skip ahead...

Article of Faith.

Assume a successful conclusion, and you have faith. Now you need a place to keep it. Above, in my avatar, is a symbol; I wear it around my neck, it has weight, I can feel it. Allow me a moment to share with you the science I have done. That journey starts with a man who did not accept any definition of faith. That man was educated. That man heard the same type of agenda-laced propaganda you may have heard. That man concluded, whatever faith was, it was not for him.

That man was entirely wrong.

That man, that witch who crafted an article of faith, is giving you nothing. He is describing a journey; much like this one, with all that is necessary. While you take this journey, something may be observed. Take it. Craft it. Know it. But if it is anything other than yours, it is not faith.

is what Remains.

The definition I acquired from the journey should aid you on your journey. You want something that works. You want something that remains, with you; for when there is nothing, but you. You don't want anything else.

So, let us make pretend. Let us suspend our disbelief. Let us consider religion, sacred text, ritual... what if there was something to it? You seen how these people act, yelling, screaming, bouncing around like frogs on a griddle... sure, many of them have too much energy and not enough intellect, but some of them... don't they seem, well, holy?

You are at a crossroads. From here, there are two paths; to the left is the way of natural progression, to the right, the shortcut of actual witchcraft.

Natural progression as a tool to acquire authentic faith involves self-awareness, as in understanding of the self. Spiritual maturity, as in understanding something other than self. Integrity. The tao, and your relationship with tao. Then, in your journey; your life's journey, you will come to a point of clarity. When something like a four-word phrase – faith is what remains – says all that need be said; about extraneous variables in real-world scenarios.

Yeah, it takes work.

Work? ellenjanuary?

Hey! Just for that, it's time for a surprise quiz:

Holy Spirit:
a) biological defense mechanism.
b) a specific tool for a specific individual at a specific time.
c) observational datum extrapolated into political agenda.
d) all of the above.
e) none of the above.

Need more time?

The Answers:

If you chose any of the first four, they may aid you, as you do the science.

If you chose e. You're burnt. So sorry. Not everybody can be a winner; somebody has to lose... if you are already a believer, scram; you've been called out.

Still here? Don't sweat it. Probably forgot the basics. As in – be prepared to accept the terms and definitions as they are given. The Holy Spirit is undefined, but not by e.

Have you ever heard the one, the only unforgivable sin, is to blasphme the Holy Spirit? Do you know why? Are you afraid? There is no shame in fear, it warns you of danger, stimulates your body for extraordinary action. Are you ready to perform an extraordinary action? Are you ready to storm the temple, steal the treasure, leave the doctrine; and get a laugh out of the deal, at the expense of the religious?

They tell you that you need the Holy Spirit. They say they have the Holy Spirit. And they never say how to get the Holy Spirit. It would not surprise me in the least to find that they have no idea, that the Holy Spirit can be acquired by doing the science, rather than following the dogma.


It is not impossible, that undefined variable, will appear in your equation if you follow this procedure. However, it is far more likely, that experience will be gained – insight – that will allow you to gain authentic faith. Without words

Hebrew - English Bible / Mechon-Mamre

The science is known as knowing the mind of another. The journey that must be taken, can be found in any book of prophet. Forget doctrine, dogma, scholarship; for the purposes of this experiment, walk in one of these man's shoes. Experience the color and contrast of communion in context.

Thus our journey concludes. The rest is up to you.

Wait a minute, what just happened?

Take a moment to consider; this screen, laid flat. You have taken a journey; I stand next to you, at the conclusion... look back. There are but two elements that you can trust, that work. Where did your journey begin? With you. Where did your journey end? With you. What happened in between? Environmental sensation. You can trust yourself. You can trust nature.

Everyone else, has an agenda. What I have done here, is worship. See my Gwynnies back there? She is my sweet everything. Anything beautiful, helpful, fun; in this environment. All my Gwynnies. Any bs, rant, malice, evil; that's all me.

I love that poor girl... well, I'm just here, shedding some love. It's stoopid. I'm starting to feel like, Cupid, or something... shake my fingers at someone, they are all gonna be full of love. People are looking at me, girls... I'm attracting attention.

It is not part of the agenda to be so dang... noticeable. 

What about god? Well, what about god? Where I had stood, with you, looking back? I was looking at god. Spent five hours, writing that post, staring at my Gwynnies, performing an act of worship. Figure if I violate Sabbath, first day on the road to Judaism; might as well be righteous. 

How do I get away with that? Alignment. Ain't nothing of god, I need, in the local universe; cannot remained aligned behind my Gwynnies.

And I do have Holy Spirit. Do you know, that of all the crazy, mixed-up b.s. in scripture; there is one thing I know - for certain - to be, not possible?

To blaspheme the Holy Spirit.

That should tell you something about Christianity. One day, as a Jew (preformed essentially zero error, need only be accepted into Jewish law, already qualified - as research verified, after, of course. I have faith ) and Christianity is, witchcraft gone wrong. Not surprising. Most people, need an actual Jesus; to accept Jesus. Pay close attention to what Paul says; forget the rest, they are backstory.

There are but two forms of Christianity, Pauline Israelite; which is rare, and Aaronnite. How can you tell an Aaronite? They are always on the prowl, for true Christians.

True Christians; how absurd is that?

Let me tell you what they don't tell you about the Holy Spirit:

There is the second form; you get that, you know it...

There is the first form, non-specific; derivative of the second form. Don't believe me, believe Moses. Think of Moses and Aaron. Think of Paul's letter to the Romans. If it smells like fish, it is probably fishy...

Paul is an arrogant, mouthy, whiny - probably small packaged - little prick... but I respect him.

Paul... to Muhammad. There is a clear progression of Holy Spirit. Fourteen million Jews - make that fourteen million one - still jammin to the classic rock. Billion and a half wild-eyed Mohammeds, cranking the Industrial, looking for jihad...

38,000 sects of sheep, without a Shepherd...

And a blight, curiously located, claiming infallible decree...

My sin? Is increasing the local divinity of Gwyneth Paltrow... oops. 

Kinda always figured, that girl was going to get a cult out of the deal, down the road; that's why I started calling her my Gwynnies. Ever hear of HaShem? Yeah, careful with the name; ancient witchcraft right there, naming things...

Who needs Almighty? The awful weak, usually...

Funny thing, about love... it does not spend. The more you give, the more you have. It does not fear, it does not judge, it does not question...

Does it really need to be, any more complicated? All I have done, is love my Gwynnies - madly, truly, deeply...

Nine dollars a day, and needing less... 

Friday, February 4, 2011

an act of re/creation

a fork in the road.

Such simple things, choices. The flavor of ice-cream, the route to the concert; the red shirt, or the blue... so many, so often; choices. So much, times; the choice is made even before the consideration is well formed. Now, or later; before, or after, the mail... yet even with familiarity, the ability to choose is not contempt.

And what looms, is anticipation. To prepare for the final exam, to plot the course through the last of the dangerous reefs; to hold to an ideal of perception and see it come to fruition, to become...

Not I. Know that sometimes, the monument of destiny is the distraction to the focus of will; and in hindsight, vanilla marks the future of evolution.

Once, I was an artist; drawing attractive women, just what I did. On commission, on request, or just because I could; to make the time go by. Not so much women as subjects, medium to canvas, moment to memory; that choosing to take the likeness of a beauty in an idle moment, did not require choice.

Until I chose to draw Gwyneth Paltrow.

And all for a smile; the one drawing her gave unto me - 5/15 - the day of my creation... ten years gone. Because I kept re/creating, a multitude of portraiture, of grin; and where I sit now. looking back.

Thousands; upon thousands of hours, of the life I did not know I was living, recorded in colored pencil, and freely given to whomever was there to receive. In drawing her, I fell in love with her; in the love of drawing her, and expression of giving. For I am so very wealthy in this self-contained trade, love, and joyous expression; that I have little sense of materialism, so little that the material I do acquire is oft later expressed to one whose need is more than mine.

Which is what I have become - religious - where religion was never an option. Through circumstance both strange and surreal, the question of what is Gwyneth Paltrow to an unknown artist she has never met, may yet be an answer considered forever undefined. Perhaps in can be expressed, the word of god; but not so much, nor so well, if history be the judge. Leaving a nobody to know, if any should come to wonder; that in all the words of god is not so much a meaning...

as a measure.


That I still live, this day; the mark returns to the door.

the church of gwyneth paltrow and all mankind

What of these words, this life, this tale that I spin; as nothing to a single thin sheet of embossed copper. Such, my legacy, previously derived; to become even less, towards which I strive...

and if monotheism shall fall along the way, mark me here;
zero god, this grave.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Evolutionary Deism

Evolutionary Deism: the prophecy of ellenjanuary.

Tenets according to the gwynnite hypothesis:

  1. God is.
  2. The purpose of god is for the individual to find comfort in god.
  3. The purpose of god is for all individuals to find unity in god.
  4. No purpose shall be accorded to god in conflict with the scientific method.

The tale of becoming:

On the job site one night in August of 2005, a speck on the wall caught my attention. I considered, this speck; came from the origins of the universe...

I visualized a surface covered with mathematical equations and diagrams; the calculations necessary to guide that speck through 13.7 billion years of cosmic evolution in such a way as to land on the eighth floor of this office tower, to be before these eyes, moving at the speed of the earth's rotation...

I considered being a proto-human; caught in the act of dying of freight, as I gazed at a vast and terrifying form I knew instinctively to be “the creator of the universe...”

I looked around, and saw myself on the deck of a starship; an interstellar research craft a la Star Trek, where beings in white coats busied themselves with routine tasks. Then I found myself in a hallway of metallic planks; cylindrical, with steel tubes running down the ceiling and walls. Before me, there was a man. And I knew this man to be “the creator of the universe,” along with the hallway, the beings in white coats, the ship itself, even the images on the viewscreens; all of this I understood to be “the creator of the universe,” to whom, for simplicity's sake, I gave the appellation, god.

And god gave me that certain look, and said, “I have need of a prophet...”

Thus began a five year journey; one more of mind than of time and space, one where I researched the term “prophet” and its religious connotations. One where I considered what such an archaic title could possibly mean in this day and age. One where I took every precaution to minimize potential cross-contamination lest I have been “endowed” with occult power of which I was consciously unaware; to insure that my “status” did not impinge on the faith of others.

Now I am ready to formulate an hypothesis. One which, I assume; at best will make me a figure of hatred, ridicule, and disdain. At worst, one which will see a prophecy fulfilled – that I will be ripped apart by angry mobs. But before I express this inevitably controversial hypothesis, I would like to explain some factors that have gone into its formulation.

One – god essentially “left it up to me” as to how I would fulfill the duty of prophet. Writing is the obvious choice. I have no idea if indeed I am endowed with what I call “the paranormal taint,” but I have conclusively dismissed any notion of preforming any “signs and wonders.” This, to me, seems more like showmanship that promotes the showman rather than god. I remember one time reading on a forum a discussion of these “prophet-types” doing faith healing in a tent revival setting. One poster asked, “If these guys have been given the power to heal, then why aren't they down at the ER instead of trying to make a buck?” That would be my question; for an answer, if one hears of emergency rooms mysteriously emptying in the valley, ellen might have got promoted. It is not my will to “put on a show,” but if god desires his marionette to dance, then I will be a good little monkey, and dance. But, until such a time, I shall translate “prophet” as “one who writes concerning prophetic imagery.”

Two – I came to understand that rather than the whole “creator of the universe,” what I experienced was the “avatar of the scientific aspect of the creator of the universe.” An “avatar,” I was given to realize, is the largest “amount” of “divine” that can exist in the universe without occurrence of a nasty case of divine interference. What seems to be to be most remarkable, however, is “scientific aspect.” After many false starts and trips down blind alleys, I can only conclude that the will of god concerning this prophet is that I become as scientifically aligned as possible. Which means, in a nutshell; to speak for god as if there is no god. From personal experience, from interaction with others, and from the opinions of scientists working in the field; it is my contention that religion can now be seen as an evolutionary dead end. Every time an individual probes the secrets of the universe, that individual comes across the limits of intellect and imagination; if there is religion in this individual, this tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. “I can only see so far,” the mind seems to state, “beyond that must be god.” A declaration of defeat, which others of the same religious persuasion tend to capitalize upon and invert, calling it a victory. Doing exactly the opposite of the usual doctrines of faith, and proclaiming such to be “proof of god.” This is a travesty. The benefits to the sect are small even as the detriment to human endeavor is large, and yet a sense of self-satisfaction and instant gratification allows these harmful assumptions to propagate. If there must me a limit to me, let there be no limit to mankind. This is what I believe. That knowledge comes not from being right; but from being wrong, only then learning a way that is more right. And of all what I do in my life; let it be entirely wrong, let it show others a way to be more right. I don't believe I am a man, I believe I am mankind.

As for god, I picture a shadow on the horizon; one that as I approach, remains, a shadow on the horizon. There is a Biblical passage I seem to realize beyond the conception of my contemporaries – Thou shalt have no god before me. I see religious sect and church promoting names and messiahs and prophets; but how can this be true? How can there be god but god? Therefore, I cannot but contend that terms like Almighty, Omnipotent, Eternal; all serve to indicate that there is something to compare to god. My religion is but two words – god is. There is no need of capitalization, there is no need of name, there is no need of denomination nor congregation nor continual reinterpretation of sacred texts. Despite what I feel that is a direction all religions must find offensive, I am turning away from religion. Just two words – five letters – but once the mind conceptualizes god; everything else in terms of traditional religion is the bitter taste of ash. There is no limit to god is; it is not a cage for god and man, it is a ladder to the stars. I don't believe in God the infinite, I believe in god the infinitesimal.

Three – Nothing I have read in any book comes close to what I have seen in a single instant of August night five years gone. Nothing I have read in any book concerning the power of god comes close to the potential power of the human mind advanced with an abstract hypothetical I call LNC. I have had discussions with believers who strive to describe the kingdom of heaven, as I relate what a future human being may be able to accomplish with LNC; and the differences are astounding. They cannot even conceive of the scenarios which I describe, not in the physical world; not even in the supposedly glorious kingdom of god. Yet what I consider is something any human being may be able to do; there is no supernatural being necessary, and it is not inconstant with the frontiers of quantum theory.

The tale of being:

This is why I must turn from religion. Every religion seeks to limit; but the only limit to science is the will to dare, and even Icarus would tremble at the will of ellen. A failure in religion accomplishes nothing; while a failure in scientific endeavor is a two-fold success. One is that such failure can show patterns of thought and experimental direction which are not feasible; two is that such a failure conducted along the lines of the scientific method is a source of information that is never truly discarded. The failure of today's hypothesis may be entirely the result of this day being today, and tomorrow's eyes may see a whole new wealth of potential.

Yet god is. What does this statement mean to science? For me, what speaks more clearly than Gideon's trumpet is the need to conquer space. There is no excuse to remain huddled on earth in comfort and decadence and squabble over dwindling resource. There is no excuse to vote with my money in support of corporations who do not turn their eyes to the heavens. We must take Mars. We must take the asteroid belt. We must not wait for individual innovation to develop esoteric technology to make the trip easy. It wasn't easy developing agriculture. It wasn't easy forming the social structures necessary for cities to give rise to nations. It wasn't easy to build America. Why should we now sit on our hands and consider hypocritical nonsense, that space is too difficult; when none of us have such weak-willed progenitors?

Furthermore, it is not for some vague future that we must claim the heavens; it is the turbulent present. The will of scientific endeavor does not rest. We are a species driven towards innovation; and if we remain on a single ball of mud, those innovations will consume us. To my mind, the two most pressing concerns as to why we need to claim the asteroid belt is nanotechnology and genetic engineering. It is not moral to try and restrict growth, it is insane. Outlawing technology in a supposedly moral society only forces the developers of such technology to a more receptive society. Which often means a poorer society, one looking for an angle, one that definitely would not have the safety concerns of a place like America. It is not for science to conform to outdated moral norms, it is for science to continually push the envelope. There are those among us who see science in such black-and-white terms that the wholesale slaughter of five billion people is to be considered “an act for the greater good.” How is such a thing possible according to anybody's moral standard? It isn't; they simply reduce people to numbers, numbers that they can erase from the face of the earth to fulfill their numerological prophecy: one point six billion people. That is the number many of the best minds on the planet have concluded represents sustainability without advanced technology. So that those who rule us now can continue to rule. They don't even care that expansion into space, which might lessen their fortunes but for the moment; could give their descendants the type of wealth beyond Nero's wildest dreams. They don't even care that even if they succeed, the complexity of our society has insured that the impetuous drive will remain, and within a hundred years; we'll be right here once more, only worse, with an anarchist underground.

But space, whose empty expanse fills the soul with terror; is ready-made for such technological advances. What kind of limits need one place on a nano-assembly plant on an asteroid? Men need only set it up, then tele-operate function; there could even be a buried nuke to abort the whole rock if something nasty is developed. Not only is such an advancement to the benefit of all, sticking these useless nukes into a rock as a fail-safe is beating swords into plowshares as the ancient never dreamed.

That is what I think of when I say god is. That when we dare the crucible of creation as individuals, we must consider all individuals. Every individual who ever declared, god is, has the right and responsibility to the maximum of their potential. Now is the time, when the maximum potential of the individual is enough to effect the world; and the only rational solution is not censorship and regression, it is get us more worlds. That is the only moral standard of god. We were given dominion over the earth, now the earth stumbles under our uncertain stewardship; and the reason for this is clear. We must assume dominion over the heavens.

To do otherwise is to fail god; far worse, it is to fail humanity.

Saturday, December 18, 2010


The Package has been delivered. An Age is at an end; so too, perhaps, am I. The love that has sustained me now confines me; I am Alien among men, I am not to be bared. The process of placement has rent me, what has sundered may not be repaired. Purpose achieved, functionality of this unit no longer need.

So I shall again draw my sweet everything; so I shall again share of this love. And love shall consume me. There is no greater purpose, there is no cause to linger; all of this world, entire

As nothing, to love her